To My Sis

My sister Vivian passed away today. My world definitely got a little smaller. She died from the complications of cirosis of the liver, alcoholism, and depression.

You see, her life-long husband, her soul-mate if you will, died a couple of years ago. And although she drank before this, the depression and loneliness was eased a little by the alcohol.
Because of the depression in me, I can blame myself in part for her depression. I'm not much of a telephone caller or letter writer. But I guess at times like this we all have a tendency to blame ourselves.

The truth of the matter is this: you can ask an alcoholic to quit drinking, but unless they want to, they won't. You can demand they quit drinking, and they will just hide the liquor. You can empty out their cupboards, but they will buy some more. Even if you live with them, you can't help them. Or make them help themselves. They have to want to change. And change is scary. So pass me another beer.

And you can't blame yourself. There's absolutely nothing you could've done.

As for the depression, I have so many people that say, "Why don't you cheer up?" And, "If you just stay busy, you wouldn't dwell on the negative so much".You just can't change the broken record in your mind that easy. It takes constant work. And sometimes you just get tired. So pass me another beer.

And you can't blame yourself. There's absolutely nothing you could've done.

The cirrosis of the liver was the infection that actually killed her. But a broken heart was the cause of it all.